You Are Allowed to Need People
You are allowed to need people right now.
One of the most disorienting parts of separation and divorce is how lonely it can be — even when we're surrounded by people. Our married friends don't quite know what to say. Our family means well but sometimes makes it harder. And we've gotten so used to carrying this quietly that we've stopped letting people know we're carrying it at all.
We were not designed to do this alone. And asking for help is not a sign that we're failing — it's a sign that we're human, and that what we're going through is genuinely hard.
One thing to try this week:
Think of one person in your life — just one — who has shown up for you before. A friend, a sibling, a neighbour, a colleague. Send them a message today. It doesn't have to be long or heavy. Something as simple as: "I've been having a hard time lately. Could we talk sometime this week?"
That's it. You don't have to have the whole conversation today. You don't have to explain everything. Just crack open the door one teeny tiny inch. Most people who love us are waiting to be let in — they just don't know how to ask. You giving them the chance is a gift to both of you.
You are not a burden. You are a person going through something large, reaching out to another person. That's not weakness. That's how we survive hard things.
We're here every step of the way — no rush, no pressure, no timeline.
If something here resonated, consider sharing it with another person who might need this today.
Be gentle with your kids and yourself.
I love you,
Peter